


old words

by suneater00



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Developing Relationship, First Christmas, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 07:29:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13095324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suneater00/pseuds/suneater00
Summary: At the end, they stood up. Gabriel ruffled Jack’s hair in a loving gesture, which earned him a small smile. And then, he felt something there, when they were still with their hands intertwined. What was that again?





	old words

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skeiler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeiler/gifts).



> secret santa gift made with lots of love for Skeiler - i hope you like it, sweetie! ❤ i loved writing it all, loved the requests and i hope i've met your expectations! there's a bit of angsty feelings there, but only to make the fluff sweeter.  
> english is not my first language, so please tell me if there's any mistakes so i can fix it!

They’ve been sharing that room for almost a year now.

Gabriel discovered early that Jack snored. Loudly. Sometimes he would speak during sleep too and Gabriel found that hilarious for most of the time - he would answer and try to keep up a conversation at 0200 with a sleep-talking man from Indiana, and that almost always ended up with more snoring and laugh. Some would’ve found it annoying, but Gabriel loved it - not that he would admit, per see. But it warmed him. It was such a common, normal thing among so many unnatural training and organizations. It was good to just laugh at some nonsense that Jack would say.

For Jack, he discovered that Gabriel was a heavy sleeper. Except for injections days, when they would be sick all day, he was a _very_ heavy sleeper. And he _never_ slept without a blanket, even during summer. During winter he would gather all available blankets and bury himself there - be it on their shared room’s sofa or on his own bed. One day, Jack had asked why.

“I have cold hands,” Gabriel mumbled sleepy with a frown from inside his blankets cocoon, all wrapped up on their sofa. “Don’t like it.”

“But you can warm your hands without _all_ those blankets,” Jack frowned, but smiled at that. It was cute.

“But it’s nice this way,” Gabe had mumbled, cheeks a little bit warm. Jack laughed.

But things were not always easy between them. Of course sometimes they would argue - they were both grown military man with weekly-injected heavy drugs that were bound to affect their hormones. They would argue just out of exhaustion, too, when the pain was too much or a training had gone wrong. But that was _still_ normal. And they would always, always end up okay. In the heat of the moment there would be some things that were not meant to be said, but they knew it. They understood each other. Even with so many complicated things, that seemed to be one of the only simple and gentle one - the notion that someone else would be there and understand. With time, they learned to hear, to _listen_ and to talk and to forgive.

On counterpoint, there was that new emotion there, too. That new feeling wasn’t normal until then. The feeling that warmed up and tightened their chests, but still oh so soft. It was scary, strange and new - they were not being used to gentleness and soft touches, still taking measured steps along with those new and scary complicated feelings.

“So,” Gabriel started, just trying to pick up a conversation topic. They were alone on their room. When that new emotion swelled up again, usually when he and Jack were all alone - or when Jack would laugh at something during training -, he didn’t know what to do, and so did what seemed normal: fill the silence. He looked up from some old book he was reading. “Christmas is coming up soon.”

They were not allowed to go home for any holiday. Christmas was not an exception. The best thing they received was a four to six days rest - after all, they were not some frontline soldiers. They were the new hope against the Omnic Crisis. The hope that the government spend billions on. So of course they had a better treatment - not allowed to go outside, but they had cafeterias and lounging rooms, brand new TVs inside their quarters. They had their rooms, a private bathroom, a whole library to choose from. If you forget the _we can die at any day_ part, it was nice.

“Yeah,” Jack didn’t look up from his pad. He frowned, hands gripping a little too tightly there.

“I like Christmas, you know. Like, a lot. We would always spend together- I mean, me, mom and my sisters, but it was nice. Sometimes auntie Carla would come, too. Did you get those big Christmas on the farm, too?,” He noticed the small frown that formed on Jack’s fair face, the slight tension that obviously came from distress on his shoulders that should not be there - not when they were just relaxing on their room. So he tried to keep up and took a  joking tone, “Well, ‘cause this time we’re stuck: just you and me.”

“It seems so,” Jack had answered, still all slumped and tense shoulders, looking down.

Gabriel sighed. Something was wrong. He was not insensitive. Jack was bothered by something, they were fine in silence until then. That was not normal. Jack didn’t like to talk much about himself - his past and his family -, but he never reacted with tense shoulders and false smiles. Gabriel didn’t like seeing Jack like that. He got up, walked to him and put a slightly cold hand on his shoulder.

“If you need to talk sometime, I’m here.”

At that, Jack looked up. A small true smile appeared and it made something tight inside Gabriel’s chest - something good and wonderful and kinda scary.

“Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

It was December 1st. Gabriel couldn’t sleep well. They had another set of injections the day before and it hurt like hell. He looked to the other side of the room and sighed, hands gripping tightly on his blankets.

Jack was mumbling again. Not the good, funny kind of sleep mumbling. It was the kind that Gabriel not so recently discovered that Jack did when he couldn’t sleep well - probably the injections, too. Those times, often Jack would cry, too. Nothing loud, just a sniffle here and there. But it was enough to make Gabe feel so, so small and useless. The sight made his chest tight - the bad kind of tightness. He guessed it was the pain this time - because it _did_ hurt _a lot_ . At least he hoped it was _just_ that.

 

_bones mend,_

_regret stays with you forever_

 

He stood up and walked slowly, still rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. He kneeled beside Jack and caressed his hair lightly, careful to not scare him awake.

“Jack,” he gently said, wiping away a tear near the bridge of his nose, “Jackie.” Gabriel had started to call him Jackie that first on a mocking tone. But it was gentle, now, it was soft and loving. He continued to cradle his fingers through Jack’s hair until the mumbling stopped and ocean blue eyes opened slowly.

Gabriel smiled and stood up, hands on his hips.

“Good morning.”

Jack sniffled. Then sat up and sighed. He looked at Gabe with a small smile and mumbled a small _good morning_. And just like that, Gabriel’s chest was not hurting anymore.

 

* * *

 

They talked that night.

It seemed that Jack didn’t want to bottle it up anymore. Perhaps he was just tired of avoiding Gabriel’s worried glances when he woke up crying, or when he would withdraw when some topic at a conversation arose. But for starters, that was good ‘cause it meant that Jack trusts Gabriel with that, with all those stories and feelings. He told Gabe about his parents, how he was their youngest son - he had one older brother, Michael, that died on a car accident. On Christmas.

As Jack told him, Michael had always been their parent’s treasure. He was the one who would go to a military career, and Jack was the one that should inherit the farm and _keep the good name of the Morrisons_ , as his father had said. Because Michael was bright, he had deserved the world. Even if Jack’s parents were not the best people out there, his brother always treated him with so much love, so much care. Jack couldn’t have asked for a better brother.

But it all ended with a call from the hospital on Christmas Eve. A woman - a doctor, she said, but Jack couldn’t remember her name - called asking for his parents. Michael was driving back home. A drunk driver was on the other side of the road. You know the rest. Jack had been 11 that time.

 

* * *

  
“And… and it was just that,” Jack said, voice swelled with too many bottled up emotions. “He was just gone. And my parents, they- they… I know that it’s not that they _don’t like_ or- or love me, but… but I heard mom said that she wished it had been me and not Michael, and I-,” he shuddered, a sob escaping. Gabe sighed and hugged him close, tracing small circles at Jack’s back.

They were quiet, except for the small sniffling here and there.

Gabriel didn’t know what to say, really. That all just didn’t feel _right_ \- not only Jack’s parents being… well, not being the best parents out there and Michael. Jack crying like that didn’t feel right. It felt bad, like a hand squeezing Gabriel’s heart. He had all the reason and right to cry, so Gabe just let him. And so, minutes passed - it felt like seconds to them, but when Gabriel looked up, it was already 2100. Well, at least they were on a weekend.

At the end, they stood up. Gabriel ruffled Jack’s hair in a loving gesture, which earned him a small smile - still a bit sad, but it was there and that was enough. Because Gabriel couldn’t change the past, he couldn’t take Jack’s parents place or Michael place. But he could be there from now on.

And then, he felt something there, when they were still with their hands intertwined. _What was that again?_

_Oh._

 

he had read about that somewhere

on calm days with warm sunshine across a wide yard

with singing voices reaching his ears

he hadn’t really understand those words then -

they always made something inside him ache,

because he wanted to fully understand those words

 

_it had flaws, but what does that matter when it comes to matters of the heart?_

_we love what we love. reason does not enter into it._

_in many ways, unwise love is the truest love._

_anyone can love a thing_ because. _that’s easy as putting a penny in your pocket._

 _but to love something_ despite _. to know the flaws and love them too. this is rare and pure and perfect_

 

and suddenly, that old ache wasn’t there anymore.

 

“Jack,” he said, soft and gentle, looking down at his face.

“Hm?” Jack looked up at him, all warm eyes like sunshine across that old, old yard.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes,” he had softly said. “You can, Gabe.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Gabriel sighed. He fidgeted in his place, looking around their quarters. It was not the ideal situation, not for him. You see, even is SEP would allow some privileges, some kind of freedom, it was still not ideal for a Christmas night - at least for Gabriel’s standards. He couldn’t find a tree or lights, but he found some candles, old Christmas movies - including _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ because Jack said he never watched it and of course Gabriel took it personally. He went out of his way and asked - _begged_ \- some staff for different food and drinks.

“We may be dead before next Christmas, which means that if this is our last, you could _at least_ let us have some fun.”

Under some low threats and a promise that _no one_ except for Jack and Gabriel would know about it, he got some snacks, a fruit cake and wine. Those were not exactly forbidden for super soldiers, per see - just _not recommended_.

And so Gabriel took his chance at Jack’s last training before their holiday to set everything up. He lit the candles, smiling at the smells, got some food for both of them from the cafeteria on their small table near the sofa, along with the snacks, wine and fruit cake. Everything was just _good enough_ , if you consider his circumstances, but there was that one last thing.

Dr. Campbell, bless and curse her wit, as soon as she saw Gabriel begging the poor staff, approached them with a Cheshire like grin that sent chills down Gabriel’s spine. She ended up helping them, as she went along quite nicely with both Jack and Gabriel. If they had more time to interact, perhaps they would be close friends now. The threats were hers, along with a single mistletoe that she gave Gabriel with a knowing smile.

“He will love it,” was all that she said.

So now Gabriel was left with the single mistletoe.

As he and Jack had already kissed quite a few times since their first kiss, he wasn’t nervous about Jack’s reaction. After all, Morrison had admitted that he loved Gabriel’s kisses - which earned them both flushed cheeks and more snuggling. The problem with the mistletoe was just that… well, it was one more thing to add to _things that Jack needs to experience during Christmas_ list, but it meant so much for Gabriel.

He loves those holidays from the bottom of his heart and all silly traditions that came with them. And somehow that made it all more personal. Because it was one more thing he was sharing with Jack. One more personal thing, among so many others he had already shared and regretted none of it. But it still made him nervous - oh well, he could not really control how he felt.

He hung the mistletoe right above their beds, that he not so casually pushed together.

Gabriel smiled.

 

those old, old words echoed within him

and a weight he did not feel until then lifted itself from his shoulders

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Gabe?,” Jack entered the dark room after his last training for the week, his brow furrowed.

“Take a shower and come here,” came a voice. He could hear the smile there, as well as the obvious excitement.

“Okay… I guess?,” Jack mumbled, not less confused. He took a quick shower, snorted as Gabriel had already left some of his clothes there for him and came out of their small bathroom. He felt his throat constrict when he saw the room with the lights on.

There was food from the cafeteria there, as well as - _how the hell did he get those?_ \- fruit cake, wine, snacks, candles and many, many blankets on their sofa. There were no Christmas lights, but he could make out what that was.

“I- uh- I prepared this. You know, after what you told me, I wanted our first Christmas together to be… different, I guess? Nice?,” Gabriel said, nervously smiling and looking everywhere but at Jack. “I got those with the staff, but Dr. Campbell helped a bit. It’s not _ideal_ , so I promise that when we get out of here we will have a proper Christmas, but… yeah. For now- uh, I… Merry Christmas, Jackie.” he laughed, scratching his chin.

When he looked up, he kind of expected that, really. Gabriel could not say yet for sure if it was a bad or a good sign, but Jack had both hands clutched together at his chest, cheeks slightly red as some tears made themselves known there.

But when he let out a breathy, wet laugh, Gabriel knew it was a good sign.

“Hey, now, no reason to cry, eh?,” Gabe said as he approached Jack, smiling as he put both hands on his face, caressing away some of the tears. Jack laughed again, holding Gabriel’s hand in place as he kissed them.

“Yeah. You are the crybaby one,” he said, sniffling.

“I’m not.”

Jack smiled more and kissed Gabriel softly. They stood there a few moments, a few heartbeats, foreheads touching. Both with eyes closed, noses softly touching, nuzzling there. For a moment, there was nothing else but them. For a moment - not the first nor the last one - just each other’s presence was enough. Just the soft touches, gentle breathings and quiet heartbeats were all that they could’ve asked for.

“Thank you,” Jack whispered against warm lips. He was overwhelmed, but- but this time, it was different. He was overwhelmed with so many good emotions. Jack felt his cheeks warm, tears from sheer happiness still trying to escape, a dorky, thankful smile making its way on his lips. “Thank you so much, Gabe.”

“You can thank me after we watch _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ and finish that wine,” Gabriel answered in a light, laughing tone. For good measure, he kissed Jack’s lips again, their smiles in the way, laugh bubbling from deep within the blond’s chest.

 

* * *

 

“Gabriel, are you crying?”

“Shut up.”

Jack snorted as Gabriel wiped away a few stray tears. Both had just finished their movie and were cuddling on the sofa, warm blankets all over them - their own cozy world. The wine was long gone, as well as the food. It turned out that they had a higher tolerance to alcohol than expected, the only flush apparent on their faces were from crying about a Christmas movie or from sheer happiness.

Jack smiled again, raising his head from where it rested on Gabriel’s chest to look at the man. One hand came up, softly caressing scarred cheeks.

“Thank you,” was all he said. He truly was so, so grateful - those hours spent with Gabriel didn’t erase his parents or his brother’s death, of course not, but it made something good bubble up from within his chest. It was a warm, tender feeling that made him want to laugh, to wear a smile the rest of the night. It didn’t erase the bad feelings, but it made them stray away for a moment - it made them quiet for a moment.

“Sorry I couldn’t get you a gift,” Gabriel answered with a smile of his own, nuzzling at the hand on his cheek. “I will make it up to you when we get out of here.”

“You gave me more than I could’ve asked for, Gabriel,” Jack said in all seriousness, so sincere Gabriel could only believe him, from the bottom of his heart.

So they just smiled again, and it was enough.

Jack stifled a yawn in Gabriel’s shoulder, making both of them laugh.

“Let’s go to bed,” Reyes said. They stood up and Jack could see some restlessness as they approached their improvised bed in Gabriel’s movements - subtle, but they were there. As both men lied down, Jack let out a small cry out of surprise. Gabriel’s lips were suddenly there, kissing all of Jack’s face, going down on his neck on a ticklish way. Jack laughed, snorting at the feeling of fluttering kisses on his neck, lips, nose.

“What’s this all about?,” he managed to say between ticklish laughs. And then he looked up. What he saw made Jack snort loudly, taking Gabriel’s face between his to reciprocate all those silly, loving kisses.

Both had flushed cheeks, chests light and oh so warm, so tender and full of love. That’s how they had they first - of many - goodnight kiss. It may be that, someday, they would not have that anymore. Any of that. One day would come without good morning kisses. Their chests might feel heavier, smiles not crossing their faces so often. But all would pass - they knew, from deep within, that all would be okay, at the end. Their blooming, unwise love would not wither. It will endure, it will bring them together again and again if necessary - it ran deeper than this world’s hatred.

But for now, that moment with the single mistletoe above their tiny bed, with shared whispers and fluttering kisses - it was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it! ❤  
> quotes in italic are from Kingkiller Chronicle, by Patrick Rothfuss
> 
> you can also find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/koushieie) and support me on [ko-fi](http://ko-fi.com/koushieie)!


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